Blog

June 15, 2013

Watch me on Talk TV on the Internet

May 25, 2013

Social Media = Relationships “Light”

In this day and age most people can’t go 2 hours without the smartphone or any of the forms of social media (I won’t mention their names as their lawyer budget beats mine!) as their electronic soother!

I thought for my piece this week I would look at some of the challenges of communications that we are experiencing society today.

Let’s look at the book of faces for a moment. What is it?

When’s last time your car broke down the side of the road and you were able to connect with somebody on the book of faces to help you? Not often right?

This is not to say that social media doesn’t have any uses especially for those geographically separated by great distances.

However in my humble opinion these tools are used as a tool to manage risk of exposure to relationships. We control how much of a person we connect with and when. These have very little to do with the real face-to-face interaction of a traditional functional relationship.

We are becoming a society of people who don’t know how to relate to each other with problems spanning all life areas. We are seeing an unwillingness (and worse) an inability of young folks to have full relationships that include the inconveniences of being present.

We live in a time when social media has given us promise of being more and more connected with everyone. What I’ve noticed is more people that are more lonely and isolated. people who are so “busy” doing very little of true importance in their life. A life of significance is a life where we push ourselves and do what’s important and often it’s not at the end of an electronic tether. I met someone last week who had closed his book of faces for a week and he mentioned how liberated and free and productive he was. Over the last 2 months i have been involved in a business requiring face to face and phone meetings, the quality and experiences have been incredible.

So how to do we be constructive about this ?

Limit your time using the social media. You control the time when you want to interact with it and HOW. Turn off the aspects of it that send you emails every time somebody makes a comment. many these conversations are really self focused, selfish, trivial and all about glorifying a life that often is less than average.

A life of significance requires real presence and humanity.

I dare you to take a 1 week hiatus from social media, who knows you may never come back! See you in the flesh!

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April 23, 2013

Characteristics of High Performance People

High performance performance People are/have: 
1. A clear picture/vision/purpose of what they want to achieve. A great vision helps other people it is not self-centered.
2. Develop an attitude that it will work out the way they imagine it will. They expect to win! They see/feel themselves winning and practice that visualization consistently.
3. They serve others, it’s not just about themselves. They realize that to have a goal greater than themselves feeds them. To contribute to the greater good is more important than their personal gain.
4. They do not calculate “how much” they give or expect in return.They give because it is their fuel. They give because they are so full of passion, joy and appreciation. If someone fails to return the generosity, they don’t take it personally.5. They have a tireless and joyful work ethic. They enjoy what they spend long hours doing and they are great at it because of it.
6. They do it now. They realize that a job done now imperfectly beats a “perfectly done” effort next week. They realize that:
“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take” -Wayne Gretzky
7. They fail a lot because they take a lot of chances. They learn from every failure and improve their skills (sharpen their axe).
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April 15, 2013

Attitude Clues

This week I talk about clues to those with unwaveringly great attitudes. I’m still working on mine every day and I can say i’m improving but have so much more to do!
Remember: “When the attitude is right the facts don’t count!”
People With Great Attitudes Have/Are (How many of these are you consistent with?) 
1. High energy: always ready to go
2. Problem Solvers:  Complaining and blaming is easy, most fools do it constantly
3. Can tolerate confusion: Break into parts and prioritize
4. Loyal to team purpose/cause
5. Committed to themselves
6. respond rather than react
7. Winning is a habit , they are never lazy (they love what they do)
9. At peace with themselves since they know why they are here, their purpose
10. Do what they said they would do (have integrity and high principles, example in my case: I return emails or calls within 24 hours no matter what)
“Winners are either “Up” or “getting Up”!”

Attitude Stealers/Destroyers
1. Detail “itis”, focus on the problem not the big picture
2. Procrastinate: Think if they don’t do “x” then they don’t have to do “y”
3. Overly sensitive: personalize everything, not realizing its not for them
4. Ask “Why” Questions: Why questions assume/create victim status
5. Double Minded: Unfocussed. because being successful comes with responsability, so they self-sabotage
6. Compare themselves with others/jealous: Not with themselves in the past. Interestingly: We compare our insides with others’ outsides!
                                                                                         ”The trouble with doing nothing, you never know when you are done!”
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April 13, 2013

Perspective

Did you ever wonder why some people experience similar events but react completely differently? Well I do very often. I cam across some material this week that clarifies just that relationship.
 
C + P = E
Here is the formula:                                                Circumstances + Perspective = Experience 

In life we don’t control our circumstances nor our experience BUT we DO control our Perspective of events.

This brings us to failure: Our society simply has too negative a view of failure to the point where so many don’t even try or risk anything.
Too many people consider themselves a failure if they fail. This crushes them. Most people care more about what others think than our success.

A much superior and true perspective is that:

Failure is an Event Not Who You are! Winners keep stringing failures as they learn!

So when you have what you consider a failure or mess up, use this very supportive language: ”That’s not Like me!” as it sends a message to our subconscious that this is unusual and NOT the status quo.

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March 4, 2013

A Real Hero

Fantastic Spoken Word on building your own career vs JOB (just over Broke):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=tzcxOl4b7IA

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I challenge you to keep a dry eye after reading this, no offence to the stars, but we do tend to deify athletes, movie and rock stars. Thanks Ruth D. for passing this to me.

True Hero

And think of the media circus, flags at half staff, and all the things that were said of Whitney Houston when she died and Michael Jackson when he died. This hero died with barely anyone’s notice.
“Shifty” By Chuck Yeager

Shifty volunteered for the airborne in WWII and served with Easy Company of the 506th Parachute Infantry Regiment, part of the 101st Airborne Infantry. If you’ve seen Band of Brothers on HBO or the History Channel, you know Shifty. His character appears in all 10 episodes, and Shifty himself is interviewed in several of them.

I met Shifty in the Philadelphia airport several years ago. I didn’t know who he was at the time. I just saw an elderly gentleman having trouble reading his ticket. I offered to help, assured him that he was at the right gate, and noticed the “Screaming Eagle,” the symbol of  the 101st Airborne, on his hat.

Making conversation, I asked him if he’d been in the 101st Airborne or if his son was serving. He said quietly that he had been in the 101st. I thanked him for his service, then asked him when he served, and how many jumps he made.

Quietly and humbly, he said “Well, I guess I signed up in 1941 or so, and was in until sometime in 1945 …” at which point my heart skipped.

At that point, again, very humbly, he said “I made the 5 training jumps at Toccoa, and then jumped into Normandy . . . do you know where Normandy is?” At this point my heart stopped.

I told him “Yes, I know exactly where Normandy is, and I know what D-Day was.” At that point he said “I also made a second jump into Holland , into Arnhem ..” I was standing with a genuine war hero …and then I realized that it was June, just after the anniversary of  D-Day.

I asked Shifty if he was on his way back from France , and he said  “Yes… And it ‘s real sad because, these days, so few of the guys are left, and those that are, lots of them can’t make the trip.” My heart was in my throat and I didn’t know what to say.

I helped Shifty get onto the plane and then realized he was back in coach while I was in First Class. I sent the flight attendant back to get him and said that I wanted to switch seats. When Shifty came forward, I got up out of the seat and told him I wanted him to have it, that I’d take his in coach.


He said “No, son, you enjoy that seat. Just knowing that there are still some who remember what we did and who still care is enough to make an old man very happy.” His eyes were filling up as he said it.

And mine are brimming up now as I write this.
Shifty died on Jan. l7 after fighting cancer.
There was no parade.

No big event in Staples Center .

No wall-to-wall, back-to-back 24×7 news coverage.

No weeping fans on television.

And that’s not right!

Let’s give Shifty his own memorial service, online, in our own quiet way.

Please forward this email to everyone you know. Especially to the veterans.

Rest in peace, Shifty.

Chuck Yeager, Maj. General [ret.]

P.S. I think that it is amazing how the ”media” chooses our “heroes” these days…

Elvis, Michael Jackson, Whitney Houston & the like.

“SHIFTY” – an incredible American hero.

Please do me a favor and pass this on so that untold thousands can read it.

We owe no less to our REAL Heroes.

 

I hope this touched you as much as did me.

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February 25, 2013

Secrets of Mega-Achievers

This week I wanted to share with you some powerful new information that came across my desk with regard to Mega-Achievers (those who seem to have the Midas touch and great success).

1.      Win your emotional combat: So many people lose to stubbornness and ego. Managing our thoughts so that we spend are time and focus on what we want, not what we don’t. Remember, any negative thoughts in your mind are there because you allow them. We have the power to insert any thought. Mega achievers don’t worry about reality, they visualize what they want and focus. Every day you should insert thoughts of personal power, health, abundance.

2.      Make and Execute a Simple Plan: Some of the greatest ideas ever were sketched out on a napkin. Simplicity always wins.

3.      Continuously Support Yourself:  Eliminate loophole words such as “try” and “but”. These rob you of your power and allows a back door exit. As Yoda said: “There is “Do” and there is “not do”, there is no try. Trying is lying. But is a similar word that invalidates all that was said prior to the “but”

Example: “I want to start my new project/business this week, BUT I am so busy”

 4.      The 5 Minute Rule:  Dr. Kenneth Christian tells his underachieving clients: “Just as you are about to give up, give it 5 more minutes. This will launch you through your “dead zone”.

 5.      The Ultimate Difference:  Between Achievers and underachievers is that: The underachiever quits and the achiever completes.

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February 19, 2013

“How can I make myself more attractive to the opposite sex?”

“How can I make myself more attractive to the opposite sex?”

I get this one asked at my seminars and by my clients so often I thought I’d share it with you.

In one word, be authentic! We live in a world where people wear masks as they feel they are not “enough” or too “flawed” as they are and unlovable with their flaws. What they don’t realize (and now you do) is that our flaws make us human and give us a chance to connect.

When you are trying to be something/someone you are not you lose the essence of what makes you unique and desirable. Realize the masks you wear to “appear” better come from ego, fear and lack. The masks cover fear of rejection and loss, that vibration is very negative and not attractive. Being your real self, flaws, warts and all is very different than what others are doing and allows people to automatically either really like you or dislike you. The fact many dislike you’re true self is a good thing as they naturally go away, leaving those who really like you.

If someone really likes your authentic self, there really is no fear of losing them as they like who you really are from the start. Then powerful relationships can form. Trying to be everything to everyone (brainy, sexy, sporty, successful, artistic, etc.) doesn’t work in target marketing for cars or for people.

Being authentic allows your target market (opposite sex) to really see you as a unique proposition with multiple facets and quirks and become attracted. Being happy with yourself and who you are attracts others who are real as well (and ok being flawed). Being interesting and different is attractive, someone who has many passions and interests is incredibly attractive (passions and interests should be things that feed their soul, not TV and mass popular culture which is a negative vibration (fear and lack perspective).  

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February 11, 2013

High Potential Underachievers VS Achievers

Via my incredible membership with my private success club I came across some incredible information this week I couldn’t wait to share with you. If you want more info. On joining the club, drop me an email.

After 6 years of studying the most successful people on the planet, here is some incredible information, I dare you to look at yourself and see your truth.

The study looked at High Potential Underachievers vs Achievers. Here’s the skinny….

Print it and put it on your Vision Board (you have one right?!)

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High Potential Under-Achievers (What NOT to do)

5 Characteristics:

Procrastinate:  Spend their type paralyzed and analyzing. THEY DON’T ACT. 

Wide Swings of Mood and Self-esteem: Unfocussed

Difficulty in making decisions: Or undo/doubt when they take decisions

Fear of Disappointment: Of themselves and others. Put others’ opinions above their dreams, hide from life.

Dream Big and Never Follow Through:  Can’t pull the trigger.

Underachievers Quit, Achievers Complete.

Now here is what you want, remember 6 studies/research of Performance and Behavior:

Achievers Profile

“An Indestructible Personality”:  Refuse to give up. Will not be denied or stopped no matter what.

More “At Bats”:  Talk to more people, make more calls. “Eat problems for breakfast” . “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” – Wayne Gretzky 

Unshakeable Belief in your dream: Sturdy resilience and unrelenting courage. Chart their success.

Attitude Support:  Keep a positive mindset. Whenever you are above 85% of your thoughts being positive you have a CHANCE at success. Not before.

Mega-Achievers:  Are not Lone Wolves, they are relational.  You need to give to receive. Give from the heart.

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January 21, 2013

The Key to making a Great Decision Every Time

How do we know when to take that leap make an important decision: either “go” or “no go”?

For most of us it’s torture and then guilt and many false starts wasting time and vibrational, psychological and emotional energy.

Here’s a foolproof way to make sure you’re making the right decisions in the right way so that you take the right ones and avoid the wrong ones that won’t work anyway (because they scare you subconsciously, fear attracts failure).

First get down to what the worst case scenario of the decision is. Most of us don’t want to go there, we don’t want to worry about that or don’t want to focus there but the fear ends up running us. Be 100% honest with yourself most of us sugar coat with ourselves, “It will be fine” is not a powerful strategy.

Here’s an example from my life to apply this: I had to do a book signing yesterday and I was little nervous about it, as it was the first time I do this sort of thing. So I thought about the worst case scenario. In my case, the worst case scenario was “I won’t sell one book at all I was a complete  failure and I was never invited back to the store that invited me and worse than that, they would’ve maybe sent an email to head office or other stores to avoid me.” 

Now yes it that was very scary for me but I knew that I had to learn how to do this and this is a new channel for me (book signings at stores) and I I was prepared to fail miserably at it.. The mistake most people make at this point is not digging deep enough and really going to worst-case scenarios. For example if you’re about to launch a new product what’s the worst case scenario? Most marketing people tell you: “the worst case scenario is that we will sell 50% of what our target is.” We need to dig deeper.

  Here is my first book store signing sale!

That’s not really the worst case scenario, it’s too rosy. The absolute worst case scenario is: you spend months developing the product spending on its development, packaging, making sure the packaging is good and then you fill up your warehouses with the product, you promote it and not one item sells. That is the absolute worst thing that could happen.

That’s why they’re called worst-case scenario not medium-case scenario but most people are afraid to look at the absolute worst case because they think it looks like a failure. Failure is and not admitting what the worst case is possible.

Counter-intuitively perhaps, once you’re really really comfortable that is the absolute worst thing that could happen including impacts to your reputation, your cash flow and your ego then comes the fun part: What is the best case scenario?

So in my case the best case scenario was that I would hit it out of the park and sell over 20 books at my book signing and impress everybody, feel great make, make some money and impress the store and have them send a letter to head office or other store say how great I was.

Now obviously the reality is somewhere in between the two of those but most the time our minds won’t allow us to go to the worst case scenario. If you’re still okay with the worst case scenario happening in terms of your growth, in terms of the opportunity that it presents and you’re okay with that then you can definitely say: “Let’s do this thing and put all of your horsepower (intellectually psychologically) and your belief that it’s going to work and just do it with all your passion (#2 on the Emotional Scale). Once you confront the fear, you break through and can succeed.

Just to wrap things up in my personal example I didn’t end up selling the 20 books. But I didn’t also end up selling zero books either.
I sold somewhere in between those two numbers . But it went well, I was happy the way I was dealing with people and I had fun.

The store Customer Experience Manager was happy and we are discussing doing a book writing workshop. The result was better than my best case scenario actually in this case.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank Cheri Gibson from Indigo Books Milton. She was absolutely a superstar yesterday helping me feel great having a great first day signing and was incredibly supportive in and allowing me to to learn this and helped me shine. So I’m really appreciative of all of her support. If you’re in the Milton area, drop in and go say hi to Cheri. She’s probably one of the best customer Experience Manager’s I’ve ever met.

For all your great projects, go to the worst-case scenario, keep digging make sure it’s as bad as it can be. Then look at the best case scenario and then if you can handle the worst case scenario pull the trigger do it and never look back. Just do it, remember a good decision today beats a great decision next week all the time. You get the benefit of time and experience of doing it.

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